How to Keep the Love You’ve Found

If you’re single, you may be hoping the unique characteristics of your hands can help you find a compatible love partner.

But what if you’ve already found your partner or you just met someone and you’d like to relate to them better? Do the hands also hold clues to help you hold onto love?

As someone whose mission is to help one million people find and keep long-lasting love, I am overjoyed to say, yes, your hands can do that, too!

Have you heard about the book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman? It’s one of the best relationship books out there, so if you haven’t read it yet, you might want to check it out. In it, Chapman suggests that people “speak” different love languages, meaning that each of us prefers to receive love in specific ways in order to feel most deeply loved, seen, and appreciated.

Knowing your partner’s preferred love languages allows you to express your love in a way that your partner can appreciate it, bring it in, and feel valued. So, ultimately, receiving love in a favorite love language is about feeling valued in your relationship.

Mr. Chapman offers a quiz to help you figure out which of the five love languages you favor most, but, because your hands reflect all different aspects of yourself, you already have the answer in the palm of your hands!

The Five Love Languages are:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality time
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

In just reading the list you may already have a sense of which languages resonate most with you, but let’s see what your hands have to say.

I’m going to cover the languages in a slightly different order, and when I’m finished, you’ll see why.

Let’s start with words of affirmation. This refers to all those nice little things you say, such as, “You look beautiful today,” “I love the way you did your hair,” or “I love the way you smile.” These are all words of affirmation. And some people, including my own husband, just relish that and need to hear those kinds of things every day. My husband loves to say, “I love you.” And, he loves it when I tell him “I love you.” Because this is so important to him, I like to give him little cards and notes telling him what I love about him. And it's so sweet, and something that we do together.

Words of affirmation is located in the little finger. We call this the Mercury finger, and we want to check whether this finger is long. You do that by seeing how it rests up next to the finger beside it, the Apollo finger. As you’ll see in this picture, a long mercury finger comes up over the upper phalange of Apollo. A long Mercury finger indicates a preference for words of affirmation.


Let’s look next at physical touch. It’s important to note that physical touch refers to more than just sexual touching. It includes hugging, kissing, brushing up against each other, holding hands, and so much more. So don’t assume that just because you (or your partner) have a strong sex drive that physical touch is a primary love language for you--it may not be.

Your hands will tell you if physical touch is important to you, however. Physical touch is also located in the Mercury finger, but it's located in the lower phalange. A large lower phalange that juts out, or bulges out, is an indicator that physical touch is your primary love language. The lower phalanges represent the physical realm, so when the lower phalanges are big, that indicates a very sensual person for whom touching is really important. This person probably also likes bubble baths, soft fabrics, and little indulgences.


Moving on to receiving gifts, we want to look for a large Luna Mount. Luna is our area of receiving in the hands. It also relates to our sacral chakra and to our intuition. It's the deep subconscious of the hand and is the fleshy pad located on the outside bottom of your hand, above the wrist and below your little finger. Sometimes if you haven't looked at a lot of hands, you may not realize what a large Luna Mount actually looks like. You want to see some puffiness here, a pad that’s kind of bulgy. If it's a weak Luna Mount, it's going to be droopy or going to have a little “bite” or chunk taken out of it.

If receiving gifts is important for your partner, you may want to consider whether those gifts need to be expensive, or whether they can simply be small tokens that you pick up in the course of your day or while traveling that show you were thinking of them. Some people like flowers or chocolate, but sometimes you can say a lot with a little.


Let’s look next at acts of service. As with gifts, sometimes small acts make a big difference. This includes things like doing the laundry, doing the dishes, or vacuuming--all those little chores that have to be done every day that we really don't want to do. Especially if you do this when your partner is feeling stressed or is extra busy, or if you take on some tasks so your significant other can take some time away from the kids or the house, you can get a lot of mileage out of keeping things running smoothly.

To find out if this is you, check for whorled fingerprints, a circular pattern which looks like a little bullseye. If you happen to have four or more of these in your fingerprints, that's an indication that you're a service person. By the way, you––like me––may not have a single whorl in your hands. I have tented arches and loops in my fingerprints, but no whorls. Fingerprints form five months before we’re born and they never change––so if you have whorls in your fingertips, you were meant to be someone who values acts of service even before you were born.


And that brings us to quality time. This can be about taking that little vacation, or setting time aside to meditate together, or go for a hike, or skiing, or biking. It can even be casually hanging out at home as long as you are focused on being present and relaxed, and really listening when the other talks (no interrupting and no looking at your cell phone).

I saved this one for last because a love of quality time does not actually show up in the hands. Instead, you know this is you if you have none of the other attributes we discussed for the other four love languages. It’s a process of elimination. And, if this turns out to be you, you’re in great company! When I look at my own hands, I don't have a long Mercury finger. I don't have a big lower phalange of Mercury. I don't have a particularly huge Luna Mount. And I don't have whorled fingerprints, either. That means quality time is going to be my love language. And sure enough, that is something I definitely value and understand about myself.

Once you know your love languages, you can share them with your partner, and they can share theirs. Take some time to talk about what matters most to each of you and then start noticing, and acknowledging, all the wonderful ways you can give and receive love. And, remember, ALL the love languages are relevant and meaningful, so don’t forget to occasionally speak a different language!

And please let me know what you discover! Was this valuable? Does it resonate with what you already know about yourself? Do you have questions? Any great aha moments? I’d love it if you’d share them!

Cynthia Clark is a Quantum Palmist, Love & Ascension Coach and author of Stories in Your Hands. If you are looking to love yourself, find love or love your life using the wisdom of palmistry, go to